life:Check one, yes, no or maybe Pt. 1

In the Beginning...

It was chaos born from a tattered piece of loose leaf paper. It was folded into perfect squares, and probably adorned with a variation of hearts. We were young, eager, and completely unaware of the damage that would come from unfurling that note. But still, when it made its way across the classroom, we rejust couldn’t resist. Your name was scrawled across the front in bubble letters, and the creases beckoned to be straightened out. You knew what time it was before you even looked at your Burger King Dinosaur watch.

“Will you go with me? Check one, yes, no or maybe.”

Never again will such an infamously confusing question, rife with empty possibilities, sloppy back-of-the-bus kisses, and silent phone conversations inspire such excitement. There were only three boxes available for selection, but only two were relevant. No brave soul dare select “maybe”…such a choice would have been too prudent. In most cases, you placed the tip of your Lisa Frank branded pencil or your blue Papermate erasable pen in the “Yes” box. It was at that moment that the bad habit started…you caught the boyfriend/girlfriend bug. And you’ve probably had it ever sense. Sure, as kids we were all cruelly aware of the cycle. First, “we go together,” a process which entails very little verbal contact coupled with an occasional bout of footsy. Next, at the chiding of our peers, we kiss awkwardly as everyone oogles and cheers. We exchange Valentines Day cards, at which point you discover that, miraculously, the entire population is now smitten with your boyfriend/girlfriend. Finally, boredom sets in, and then it’s off to the races to see who will craft the most embarrassing public break up scenario. It was cute cycle that kept the monotony of dodge ball and science fairs at bay.

But after grammar school that boyfriend/girlfriend dynamic isn’t so easy. Hormones spark. Physical awkwardness is paced only by the need to do something, anything to keep from feeling as clumsy as you look. And there it is…a romantic relationship…a fictitious safe haven, itching to nestle all of your insecurities and longings. As it was in grammar school, two people are smitten by each other, and decide “Hey, lets go together. To where? Who knows. But it sounds right doesn’t it?"

But now the formula is different. No more trapper keeper heart drawings and dollar store teddy bears. Nope. You’ve watched enough television and movies to know how this is supposed to go. Movies. Dinner. Hickies. Phone calls. Break up and make-up. Wash and repeat. Your partner ascends you to the highest of highs, and drags you to the lowest of lows. Unaware of our own immaturity, we invest completely, even though we have very little to offer. Sometimes those relationships trudge their way into young adulthood, while others simply pile up in the corner of dirty laundry marked “mistakes.”

All those tears. All those laughs. All that yelling. All those 8 page letters. All those tacky pictures taken at the mall. All those stuffed animals. All those scratched “Break Up” CD Mixes. All that lust…emanated from one flimsy piece of notebook paper. Go figure. But what if someone told you there was a better way. What if you found out that that state of self-imposed bondage was unnecessary, and that you’d probably be better served avoiding the girlfriend/boyfriend dynamic for as long as possible. You’d tell me to shut up right? I figured as much. But hear me out...I promise this is going somewhere.

Check back for Part II

random:.....

Speaking my truth in rhyme no matter how bland it is
A heavy heart lighting that's just what my ransom is
All apologies, I bear the cross I wear the blame
We in the same group but I don't share my brothers pain
Not to confuse, our sentiment are all the same
I just don't feel nothing I'm numb by the will to hide the shame
Same thing brought tears to innocence
I turned away and didn't even flinch

random:.....

Your messing with this Joker but you need a King
Cause he'll Club anybody trying Jack his Queen
I'm a call a Spade a Spade from the start
He gave you Diamonds, should've gave you his Heart

me:Solitude...

"Solitude"-the word despicable for some, precludes socializing, devoid of bond, bereft of unity.

But a loner receives "solitude" on a welcome note. He savours the succulent solitude until the last morsel.

The desolate place pools his haphazourd thoughts, which never got an ambience to percolate, to get streamlined and make flow like a rivulet.

He reflects on his existence, his values, his purpose of life and the vision in the comforting blanket of solitude.

In his anchorage with the solitude he extends his sight to the colonnade of trees, to the horizon where the sky fondly touches the convergence of mountains and the cloud mingles.

From the point he looks on to the sailing boats on the lake, which, miles away, bear the semblance of sharks.

Merging in the solitude he murmurs in his soliloquy that to witness the Mother Nature's vicissitude the ideal environment will be solitude.

me:Solar Eclipse (Hey Moon, Please Forget to Fall Down)

When the sun found the moon she was in the park drinking her tea, under the white oak tree, it was all in the middle of summer, when the sun found the moon, she was sad beyond compare, but his eyes saved her life, all was beautiful when the day met the night

So he asked "would it be alright if we chilled and talked a little while, if in exchange for your time I got you to smile?" so she replied "that's cool as long as you can promise, not to break my little heart or leave me all alone in the summer." Well they were just hanging around, when he fell in love, he couldn't figure out how, but he didn't want to get out, just hanging around, when he fell in love, it was all in the middle of the summer, all was beautiful with a glance in the sky, all was beautiful when the day met the night

random:.....

Well maybe they'll love me more when I'm gone
I don't wanna leave but I need to
It's such a shame
They gon miss this plane

random:....

Why the tears?
We`re all here for you
But I know how you feel
I know how you feel
And I do care.