life:“Get down and knock ‘em out”

There I was. Every bit of 5 years old, donned in bugle boy jeans, LA Gears and a Ninja Turtles sweater, being asked to do a set of 10 push ups. As usual, I did something that drew the ire of my uncle, and per his custom, my transgression earned me 10 push ups on the spot. The penenace for a crime I can barely remember committing. As I dipped into a culmination of push up and floor humps, he counted off each attempt. Once I managed to deliver 5 decent reps out of 10 tries (give me a break I was a toddler), I got up, and repeated the phrase that reverberates in my mind this very day.

“Thank you Uncle Tank for conditioning my mind and my body.”

Yep. The recitation of that phrase was the prerequisite for my dismissal. Cold huh? To say the least my uncle was immutably tough on his son as well as his nephew. I mean neighborhood declarations of “Dang- your-Uncle-is-mean” tough. I mean “classmates-straighten-up-even-though-its-my-uncle" tough. I mean like “every-family-member-preceeding-anything-involving-me-and-my cousins-with ‘Well you know your uncle…’” tough. Rap Music? Not a chance. Smacking at the dinner table? World War 3 and 4. Oh you wanted to get braids? Forget it. Guady chains and baggy clothes? Think again. Mini skirts on his daughter? If by “mini” you mean two inches BELOW the knee, then go right ahead, but even that was pushing it. All black and red when your outside? Go in the house and change. At one point he even banned me from watching music videos because it might teach me mysogenistic habits. Yeah it was rough. But in between the chiding and the discipline, I was always aware of one thing - Unk loved me. He loved me so much it got on my nerves. As a father, you spend countless hours fighting. Fighting to make sure your daughter understands that the salacious outfits she sees on televeision are innapropriate. You spend even more time fighting to ensure your son doesn’t look to King Larry or Dave for inspiration instead of King Jesus. It’s difficult to get your wife to believe that even though she wants “it,” and just knows that we HAVE to have “it,” that we can’t afford “it” right now. It’s a arduous burden, to say the least, but it yields rewards. For every second my uncle spent keeping a watchful eye on me, I spent an equal amount of time learning from him. I watched him sacrafice his ambitions of playing college football and possibly going to the pros to build a steady career. I saw him reassure my aunt that she was his crowning jewel, and the sole object of his affection. I saw how he made sure I understood money, even though we didn’t have much of it (I was the only kid in grammar school who kept a bank ledger.) I watched him awake at 4:30 a.m, chisle snow and ice off our car, fill it with gas and shovel the sidewalk, just so my aunt wouldn’t have to wake up a minute too early. He sank thousands into rent, food, gas, clothes etc. And yup, I was watching.

The call of duty

My uncle was one of a few who absorbed his duties with such resolve. Most of the ills that exist in society exist because of the absence of leadership…leadership that is supposed to rest on men’s shoulders. We are charged with breeding legions of faithful men that will in turn protect and nurture virtuous women. But we failed. Now many of us use our inherent power to influence a woman to make a baby we don’t intend to care for. We allow women to become contentious and promiscuous, all in an attempt to protect their hearts from our indifference or gain our affection. It’s a vicious cycle that exhibits itself at every turn. (Take a second to think: If music artist refused to flaunt women across stages and videos, do you think some women would be so inclined to do it? I digress.) Gentleman, it all comes back to our doorstep. If we are to move forward, it will start with the resurgence of the father and husband in our community. Is it difficult? Of course it is. It calls for you to submit your entire life to someone else, and then whatever is left to your seeds. And at some point, they are all going to swear that your soul purpose in life if inure them to pain and despair. But one day when you and your wife begin to grey, she’ll still love you like she did when you were 17. The kids that you goaded constantly for 18 years, will walk across a graduation stage and finally say “Thank you.” And those are the days when it fulfillment comes to fruition. So I’ll pass on a few of things that Unk taught me, and maybe you’ll enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed learning it. Meanwhile, I'm going to go watch I Get Around video by Tupac simply because I can now.

Good Husband Traits

1. Know why you're called to lead.
God didn't appoint you as head of the household based on your own merits. You're not that strong, wise, or able. His might is what propels your leadership. So in all you do, look to him for direction and succes is immenent.

2. Protect.
Everyday there will external factors aimed at tearing your family apart. If your not prepared to protect against those perilous aggresions then they'll succeed. It's about more than buying ADT security. Monitor the company your wife keeps. Watch what your kids listen to and watch. And stay in prayer and listen for what your eyes can’t see.

3. Be attentive.
As you see struggle to keep focused on the big picture, its important to be aware of the needs of your most valued asset. That "sigh" meant your wife is tired and needs a little break, so let her relax. Pamper her for the weekend. And if money and circumstance permit allow, take her somewhere. Don’t let her be the one to tell you she is tired, because by then it’s too late. She was at her whits end 2 weeks ago.

4. Encourage.
Your exaltations will be the difference between raising a confident seed and one with low self esteem. Make sure the people in your house know that they are laudable, and that you're proud of them. It means a lot coming from a mother, but it means the world coming from you

5. Sacrafice.
The forfeiture of your own desires for that of your family’s is all important. The needs of your wife and children always come first. College tuition trumps the new Lexus. Purchase school clothes before you stock your own wardrobe. Take the trip to Disney World instead of Las Vegas. A true King puts the welfare of his castle above his crown

6. Be Grateful.
You know how your wife has the laundry done, lunches made, dishes washed before you even wake? And after you both get home from long days at the office she is ready to make dinner and assist with homework? Yeah that is nothing short of amazing. Make sure you tell her so regularly. Remind her that she’s the best thing to ever happen to you. Never forget, if you are giving 100 percent, she is giving 120.

7. Be In position.
Being a father and husband means being ready to protect and love your family. You can't do that if your out until 3 a.m. every weekend. There is incalculable value to your presence in the house. Go home. Watch your kids go to sleep. Be around to hold your wife when she heads to bed. It’s hard to secure your house from the VIP section of a club or a bar stool.

8. Keep it in your pants.
Sometime long ago, an over sexed misogynist spread a falsehood that it was OK for males to have extra-marital affairs. I hate to break it to you fellas but it's not OK. In fact, it's reprehensible in every sense. It’s also dangerous, disloyal, selfish etc. Now we don’t have to “sew our oats.” Yes we can “help it.” And yes a “man will be a man” but he should be one that exhibits valor.

9. Be poised.
One day your wife is going to cry and you won't know why. You're daughter is going to have her period and be inherently angry for days at a time. Your son's vascilating testosterone is going to inspire him to challenge your authority. And you have to take it all in in stride, with aplomb and mercy. When presented with such an situation, your response should be to provide a reassuring hug and a kiss on the forehead. Reserve the indignant anger for another day

10. Be Resolute.
No woman wants a weak man. Being strong has nothing to do with your physical prowess. Have the resolve to stand firm in your decisons, and be sure that those decisions are rooted in good principle. You’ve been entrusted with the welfare of the entire family. How can you handle such an arduous task if your not strong enough to make a prudent decision.



R.I.P. Anthony Kennard Sr. aka Uncle Tank.....thanks

life:It's Getting Thin Out Here

That is my lament whenever the subject of finding my wife comes up. The woman in Proverbs 31:10 that God said he has crafted for me. True enough I'm unprepared to nurture such a gift at this stage of my life, but you'd better believe I know what she is supposed to look like, how she is supposed to think, and what her heart condition should be. My brother Huggs said "Man, they don't make 'em like our Mom's anymore." A scribe of wisdom that made me a bit sad. Maybe it's the media thats sutured the spouse worthy populace. Maybe it was man's generational mishandling of woman's regal nature that contributes to the paltry numbers. I don't know the answer, but I do know that God's greatest gift to man was his wife. After all, Adam had the opportunity to dwell with God for eternity, but his life wasn't complete until his rib cage yielded Eve. "It's not good that man be alone." God gave women the power to change the world through her influence, but between the bitten fruit and music videos, something got lost in translation. Don't get me wrong, there are legions of faithful women out there who are "wife-worthy," but the ratio is shifting at an alarming rate. Its all do to a lack of knowledge...a lack of perspective.

1. Be selfless.
Your primary focus should be on what you can give, not what you can get. When you figure that out you will get everything you ever wanted. "So the last shall be first, and the first last."

2. Be smart, even when it's convenient to play dumb.
Ignorance is bliss, but willful ignorance is trifling. Nobody gives you anything for free. He's not your friend if he says he likes you. And the first disparaging word he says about your husband is the beginning of the end of the relationship. Same goes for female friends. Sometimes they are worse for your marriage than male suitors.

3. Get your hands out of my pocket.
If you to extol one man over another because of his earning potential you need to reevaluate your selection process. What's in his pocket has nothing to do with the content of his character. A man should focus on success and not money(See Joshua 1:8 for details). My chick will be aware that I don't provide for her. God provides for US

4. Watch your language.
There is nothing worse than talking to someone who doesn't have the intellectual fortitude not to fill a sentence with a crapulous slew of swears. It's uncouth, but more importantly it's unecessary. While they do serve a function in our cultural language, cursing is ineffective in mass quantities.

5. Be Confident.
If you don't love who you are, how can I? God loves us in spite of our flaws, so I can do the same. He said you are "wonderfully and marvelously made." Act like it. If you claim to be unitelligent, overweight, unattractive etc. then you are abating his greatness. And who wants that? not me

6. Never equivocate.
An answer is complete. Anything else is a lie. If you have to omit, then you were doing something wrong

7. Dress for the attention you want.
You know all the attention a girl gets from what she wears out? You know the tight dress with the truncated hem, that puts all your wares on display...with the heels to match. The one that makes every inebriated club goer grab at you and bite his knuckles? Freak 'em dress? Nah. That's the "Turn the other way if you're serious" dress.

8. Your word is bond.
If I have to question what you tell me then why bother?

9. Have an attitude.
Don't have an attitude with to your significant other, but to the guys who pursue you. nothing worse than getting "man I saw yo girl laughing with some dude in her face." Be polite, be brief, be uninviting

*I'm sure there are more traits to be noted, but these are just a few that I recognize. I hope it reached many, educated some, and inspired a few.

random:....

Life is short
And filled with lots of grief and doubt
So I just pull that bag of colorful frosty leaves on out and free my scalp
I mean free my mind, a puff at a time

life:Crazy/Sexy/Cool

Today I had one of the funniest conversations. It began with my youngest brother Kam asking what the difference between "cute" and "beautiful" was. I tried to think of a way to break it down in the terms a 5 year old could comprehend, then I said to myself "don't play him, you've discussed much more complex subject matters than such". After I explained to him my younger cousin, who is 8 years old and also mentally ahead of her time, asked "well where does sexy fit into that equation?". At first I was slightly taken back by her knowledge of the existence of the word "sexy", me being nieve once again. Now-a-days kids that young hear and see far worse and I'd prefer she be schooled by her older male cousin if anyone. Dont worry, the explanation was high in G rated lingo and jargon. We are all adults here so I am going to use my big boy words (these are opinions, clearly not facts). I view the terms "sexy" "cute" and "beautiful" as different levels. I view "sexy" as purely a sexual description. These are chicks I would have sexual relations with and keep it moving, we would go no further than the Smashing Point. Now any chick, well not any but you catch my drift, can look "sexy" but that look makes you think about the things you can do to her not so much what you can do with her. The next level up would be "cute". This is probably the broadest level of the three, but it generally involves more than physical attractivity. A "cute" chick can have the possibility to become your chick. You look more into her personality and she can make you say "she's cute but" or "she's cute and". Now when it comes to a chick being "beautiful" it exceeds both of the previous. Being "beautiful" encompasses much more than how attractive she is, though she is bad but you find yourself eager to talk to her. Tend to be on thirst mode to probe her mind and discover what she's about. Mind, body and soul.

What do you think? Do you agree?