random: Barneyism III

“Why are you brunette and driving a cab?” - Marshall

Oh, that.

You know how it’s my dream to have sex with
at least one woman from every country on the planet?

“Sure.” - Marshall

<Barney lowers a world map in his cab>

“Wow, you’re doing surprisingly well in the Baltics.” - Marshall

So, I figured what’s the quickest way
to get around the world in 180 lays?

Lease a cab and wait outside the UN building
for hot foreign chicks.

It was the perfect plan.
There was only one small detail I didn’t take into account.

“Chicks don’t want to bang cab drivers” - Marshall

Chicks DO NOT want to bang cab drivers.

And I put a lot of work into this one.

- Barney Stinson

"Doppelgangers"

How I Met Your Mother

life: One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others

Hint: It’s the one with the cover story about how it’s completely okay, if not beneficial, to feel unease about future uncertainties, as opposed to, say, riot in the streets until sh*t gets done.

Sadly, this is a fairly common occurrence.

music: Coloring Outside the Lines

random: Barneyism III

“Guys, guys, guys, this storm is serious.
Luckily you are friends with a former Boy Scout. 
And a Boy Scout is always what?” - Ted

“Unpopular?” - Robin

“Beaten up?” - Lily

Going to the movies with his mom?

“A Boy Scout is always prepared.” - Ted

“Prepared to spend lunch in his locker?” - Robin

“Prepared to die a virgin?” - Marshall

Prepared to paint his sister’s nails?

“Prepared for emergencies.
And that’s why a week ago, when Irine was just a tropical depression…” - Ted

“You’re a tropical depression.” - Robin

"This guy got us a disaster backpack!
And a rental car that seats five, parked right outside.
We’re going to drive up to my place in Westchester where we’ll all be safe.

Boy Scouted! You’re welcome!" - Ted

Boy Scouted

life: What Is Love?

Actual Children’s Answers to The Question “What Is Love?”

“Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.” - Chrissy, age 6

“Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.” - Terri, age 4

“Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.” - Danny, age 7

“Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss.” - Emily, age 8

“Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.” - Bobby, age 7

“If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,” - Nikka, age 6

“Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.” - Noelle, age 7

“Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.” - Tommy, age 6

“During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.” - Cindy, age 8

“My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.” - Clare, age 6

“Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.” - Elaine, age 5

“Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Brad Pitt.” - Chris, age 7

“Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.” - Mary Ann, age 4

“I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.” - Lauren, age 4

“When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love.” - Rebecca, age 8

“When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.” - Karen, age 7

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.” - Jessica, age 8

life: Bckwrds

random: Barneyism II

"So, would anyone care to ask me where Nora and I are going tonight?" - Barney

“Where are you going?” - Kevin

"Booty Town, Kevin!

We are finally going to Booty Town." - Barney

“And that’s why we don’t ask him.” - Robin

"I’m thinking I’m gonna hop on the Long Thigh-land Expressway.

Stop off for a nibble at Breastport.

And then, with any luck, I’ll be pulling into the Pork Authority by midnight."- Barney

-How I Met Your Mother