me:Hey Love,

How are you? Good, right. I know that because I have been watching you. I know it's been a while since we last touched base but I'm doing alright. You probably didn't think I cared anymore, but I got the letters, text and voicemails---I miss you too.

And that's why I'm writing to you today. Architectural Engineering you're an unbelievable force, even through the incessant attempts to corrupt you (I heard they tried to associate you with construction...I can't believe it either). But you weather the public scrutiny with all the unparallel grace. At one time we shared the same pulse. I was you and you were me. But sweetheart lately our heartbeats have been out of synch.

I hear what you're saying...I said we were going to be together. But all some things must come to an end. The time we spent together made me the man I am today. Remember our first vacation in Nashville for the engineering summer camp? That was fun right. And then the hours we spent together at TSU in that building for 2 years....well this letters roots start there, but I digress.

The point is you gave me some of the moments that no other craft could give me. But it's over love. There's no need to play the movie of our time together and try to figure out where we went wrong. I know you abhor clichés but...well..."it's not you. It's me".

Calm down, calm down. Let me finish. You're right. There is someone else. She lives down the street. I know it's the last person you wanted to see me with, but I'm with Psychology now. Babe, you had to see this coming. You knew I was seeing her for the past two years.

I know what you are thinking. It's not the money. I was there in the trenches of undervalued contributions with you practically my whole life. I gave up many nights for you. But, Psych wouldn't relinquish its hold on my heart strings.

Yes, the sessions are nice. And it feels good to be acknowledged and praised for the work that you do. AE, what we had was good but that was something you could never provide me with.

But more importantly, I’m with her now because she gives the chance to change more lives. How? I know I didn't think so before either, but AE you're power is limited to what a person persieves of you. No, I’m not saying she is better than you...just different.

But even after I'm gone you'll be there. Everything you taught me will be forever nestled in my consciousness. When I'm at my oak wood desk down the street I will think of you. The eraser residue...hand cramps....and man will I miss the pencil led residue on the side of my hand.

I love you, but from here on out I have to breathe the same air that Psych breathes into me.

True enough I'll miss the curves of truth along with the euphoric gazes that came as I signed on what we both tabbed as a masterpiece.

Thank you for the opportunities. Thank you for the awards. Thank you for giving me a place in the world to carve my name. AE. Thank you for the love.

If I can borrow from Jay

""Listen hear AE. I just believe this is the right thing to do baby. I got a brand new love, Psych, that's showing me a lot of action right now. I mean I know you put me on my feet and all, but I mean...you got to let me grow. It's time for me you to let me go baby....you gotta let me go.

Forever yours (even from afar),

Hen

P.S. Before you go around telling people that I just used you, I want to let you I really did care for you. True, I have been posturing myself to be with Psych for a while but I never did that at your expense. Remember that. Don't be suprised if you look out your window and hear "Harold Melvin and the Bluenotes "I Miss You" playing one day.

random:Favorite Commercials

These are just a couple of classic funny commercials for a good laugh

My new favorite

life:F*ck a Flaws and All

This is by no means a women-bashing post but if I hear one more chick declare this ideaology as an excuse to be a dickhead, asshole, b*tch, etc somebody is going to catch a judo chop to the back of the neck. There is a song by Beyonce named "Flaws and All" which I too enjoy (calm down Bey-Buffs). I simpley enjoy the raw instrumentals and her strobg yet gracious voice on the track but I am by no means supporting the message. This message has been adopted by many women I know and at first I assumed it to be related with the fanship of Bey but this philosophy was before her.

What is this philosophy you ask?

Accept me flaws and all. If you want to be with me you should accept all of me bad as well as my good.

There is a problem.

To say here is whats wrong with me and you need to deal with it is one of the most selfish and arrogant things you can say. Especially if you complain about problems in others. No person should use such things to excuse foolish actions. Now what I will accept is that it takes time for a person to grow and better themselves. We are suppose to constantly want to improve ourselves, not for the sake of others but to want to be better people. What ever happened to what we were told as shortys? "Treat others the way you want to be treated." Of course I am not perfect myself but I have family and friends that constant check me if I get out of pocket and I take it with stride, evaluate myself and improve. It's a process and I will recognize your process and that I will accept.

random:10 Things I Like

1.Mistic & Sour Skittles

2.Dancing while eating

3.Sarcasm

4.Arizona! Arizona! ARIZONA!!!!

5.Watching people without rhythm dance

It makes me happy to see people who can't dance..dancing their ass off. Its some authentic ish.

6. Watching cartoons endlessly

7.Playing Spades

the perfect way to score lunch money from your unassuming classmates that didn’t grow up in the hood

8.People watching

they’re so similar in so many ways and they have no clue

9.Doodlage

10."White" Music

Little Dragon, Disco Biscuits, Broken Bells, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Counting Crows, Vampire Weekend, MGMT, The Doobie Brothers, Empire of the Sun, Islands, Kate Nash, Oasis, Radiohead, etc. I listen to it more than any other "genre".

How about you?

music:It has no business on my playlist....but whatever

After reviewing my music catalogue i just realized that some of the music just doesn't belong there...but then again I like it all. And unashamedly so. I have it all from Teddy P to Meatloaf. While the elitist in me wants to delete "On Fire" by Lloyd Banks the other half wants to turn the volume up on "Take It Off" by UGK. I consider myself somewhat of a purveyor of all things musically pure...but every now and again I dabble in some less than artistic sounds. But that's the beauty of aesthetics...it's all in they eye of the beholder. So here they are. Junk that I love that has no place in my collection. Don't Judge me...

1. Souljah Boy-Booty Meat

2. The Doobie Brothers-Listen to the Music

3. Cam'ron-The Bottom of the P*ssy Hole

4. Meatloaf-I Would Do Anything For Love

5. Dr. Dre-Explosive(perhaps one of the most mysoginistic and disrespectful songs ever made. Low key its one of my favorite songs ever...smh at myslef)

6. Another Bad Creation-Iesha

7. Bel Biv Devoe-Do Me Baby

8. Black Eyed Peas-Meet Me Halfway

9. Oran "Juice" Jones-The Rain

10. Peaches-F*ck the Pain Away(the drums on this track are insane)

11. Rob Roy-Fur In My Cap

12. J-Kwon -Hood Hop

13. Mark Morrison-Return of the Mack

14. Jonas Brothers-When You Look Me In The Eyes

15. Tony Yayo-I Know You Dont Love Me

16. Justin Timberlake & the Lonely Island-Dick In A Box

17. Ciara-Like A Surgeon

18. Lil Flip-This Is The Way We Ball

19. Puffy Daddy-Diddy

20. NSync-Tearing Up My Heart

21. Justin Beiber-One Time

22. Oobie-Oh Na Na

23. Gorilla Zoe-I Like Them Girls

24. Eddie Murphy-My Girl Wants To Party All The Time

25. Nelly-Flap Your Wings

26. Beyonce-Resentment

27. R. Kelly-Trapped in the closet(yep...every last chapter)

28. Dipset-Push it(Remix)

29. Ying Yang Twins-Whistle While You Work

30. Crystal Waters-Gypsy Woman

31. DJ Nate-Lil Momma Bad As Hell

32. Jim Jones-Summer With Miami

33. TLC-No Scrubs(thank you girls in 6th grade for singing that song and getting it eternally stuck in my head)

34. Wacka Flocka Flame- O Lets Do It

35. Color Me Bad-I Want To Sex You Up

So there you go. Laugh if you want. But hey...I like what I like. And I'm ok with that.

me:Cloud 9

The world slows down for her,
In layers of paper and green.
Her face continues to shine bright
The ashes I stare,
Til the flame is unclean and obscene.

She has adapted a world,
To which I control.
No one understands what I see…
My body moves fast.
My brain is wide and slow.

To outside noise, I numb my ears….
In darkness, she helps me confront my fears….
In sleep with her, I lose my mind….
To everyhing outside this world, I will be blind…

In emotional toil,
I slave myself.
My ideas range,
Between logic and foolishness.
As this vertigo wave,
Drowns my eyes.
I flicker through other worlds.
Reaction is lost.

With her I’ve, cried a little….
Because of her I’ve died a little…
Because of her, I’ve tried a lot…
With her, I’ve escaped lies a lot

As she plays with my lungs,
I cough,
I choke.
And when this feeling
slowly fades,
her face lights up like a flame.
And starts again.

With her, to everything else I have numb ears…
In darkness, with her I’ve escaped my fears…
I sleep, with her a heavy breath….
In time, there is never death…

I’ve cried a little….
I’ve tried so hard…
I died a little….
These lies I keep….escaping....with her.....

random:.....

Though we have happened to part
Lord knows I didn't want that
But hey, we can't be mad at God
We met that day for a reason
I think I'm on the right track now