The world slows down for her,
In layers of paper and green.
Her face continues to shine bright
The ashes I stare,
Til the flame is unclean and obscene.
She has adapted a world,
To which I control.
No one understands what I see…
My body moves fast.
My brain is wide and slow.
To outside noise, I numb my ears….
In darkness, she helps me confront my fears….
In sleep with her, I lose my mind….
To everyhing outside this world, I will be blind…
In emotional toil,
I slave myself.
My ideas range,
Between logic and foolishness.
As this vertigo wave,
Drowns my eyes.
I flicker through other worlds.
Reaction is lost.
With her I’ve, cried a little….
Because of her I’ve died a little…
Because of her, I’ve tried a lot…
With her, I’ve escaped lies a lot
As she plays with my lungs,
I cough,
I choke.
And when this feeling
slowly fades,
her face lights up like a flame.
And starts again.
With her, to everything else I have numb ears…
In darkness, with her I’ve escaped my fears…
I sleep, with her a heavy breath….
In time, there is never death…
I’ve cried a little….
I’ve tried so hard…
I died a little….
These lies I keep….escaping....with her.....
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
random:.....
Though we have happened to part
Lord knows I didn't want that
But hey, we can't be mad at God
We met that day for a reason
I think I'm on the right track now
Lord knows I didn't want that
But hey, we can't be mad at God
We met that day for a reason
I think I'm on the right track now
Thursday, January 21, 2010
life:"Im A Real Girl" (Pinocchio voice)
I remember when chicks were goodie two shoes/but now they turned to freaks/allofasudden we love you Haza, ease off g/my name is Henry/Henry this, Henry that/where are you going, where you at/these chicks don't know me from jack/now they all on my sack/you didn't want me then, so hon, don't want me now/here, here, take the towel/wipe off above your eyebrows/and take the fake colored contacts out your eye/you're far from looking stupid fly/you get an e for effort, and n-t for nice try/tell me what's the reason for dying your hair gold/fake diamonds still danglin in your ear/you barely have a neck but still sportin a rope/extentions just so Hen can scope/you looked in the mirror, didn't know what to do/yesterday your eyes were green but today they are blue/your entire appearance is a lie and it could never be true/and if you really loved yourself then you would take the time out to be you/if your hair and eyes were real, I wouldn't have dissed you/but since you copped it, I had to dismiss you/if you can't achieve it, please don't try and weave it/if you can't extend it then you might as well suspend it/if you can't braid it, best thing to do is fade it/I asked who did your hair and you tell me Brandy's Pro 10 made it/if you were you and just you, talk to you, maybe/but I can't stand no bionic lady/trying hard to look hot, but yo you're lookin dumber/if I wanted someone like you I would swing with jessie summers/you wanna be treated right, see Father MC/or hit Ralph Tresvant line for Sensativity/I am not the one
Saturday, January 9, 2010
music:New Favorites
Recently I discovered three bands (Little Dragon, Islands and Broken Bells) on one of my random music searches. Check em out.
Little Dragon is an electronic music band, based in Gothenburg, Sweden. It consists of Swedish-Japanese singer Yukimi Nagano (vocals, percussion) and her close high-school friends Erik Bodin (drums), Fredrik Källgren Wallin (bass), and Håkan Wirenstrand (keyboards).
Islands is an indie rock band based in Montreal, Quebec.
Broken Bells is an American indie rock band featuring artist–producer Danger Mouse (billed by his real name, Brian Burton) and James Mercerthe lead vocalist and guitarist for the indie rock band The Shins.
Monday, December 28, 2009
me:I Predicted This Ish Exactly
"I'm a ride for my n*ggas", I figure that's what they all say
It's foul play when cuttin throats is your forte
Do it how you wanna be done, that's what the Lord say
Daps and hugs, but turn your back and get the swordplay
I'm sure you say I got it all wrong, it ain't like that
I sent you all them texts and called, guess it's better you ain't hit me back
Despite the fact you told me plenty tears you had to fight back
All lies, surprise, I ain't diss you with no spite track
I know you'd probably like that, but never will I hit your level
You gone dig your own grave, focus when you grip the shovel
I should be pissed as ever, but I'm the bigger "brother"
So I'm a keep it movin while you get your shit together
Our bonds was severed, but all you had to say was f*ck me
I smelled your bull, consider me lucky
I've been misconstrued, lied to and abused
But my fam still swear that they love me
It's foul play when cuttin throats is your forte
Do it how you wanna be done, that's what the Lord say
Daps and hugs, but turn your back and get the swordplay
I'm sure you say I got it all wrong, it ain't like that
I sent you all them texts and called, guess it's better you ain't hit me back
Despite the fact you told me plenty tears you had to fight back
All lies, surprise, I ain't diss you with no spite track
I know you'd probably like that, but never will I hit your level
You gone dig your own grave, focus when you grip the shovel
I should be pissed as ever, but I'm the bigger "brother"
So I'm a keep it movin while you get your shit together
Our bonds was severed, but all you had to say was f*ck me
I smelled your bull, consider me lucky
I've been misconstrued, lied to and abused
But my fam still swear that they love me
Sunday, December 27, 2009
life:Check one, yes, no or maybe Pt. 5
We're in a relationship
Pardon my disposition, but I'm a little confused. I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the line the word "relationship" became marred in a cacophony of misinterpretations and misnomers. I'd like to blame facebook profiling, but it started way before then. The truth is, you have a "relationship" with every single person you come in contact with. Of course some will be valued more than others, but a relationship is simply a manifestation of your association with another human being. So, when people launch into their personal "I'm ready for a relationship" discourse, they really mean "I'm bored, lonely and it's raining outside. The cold side of my pillow isn't cutting it anymore. I'm ready to be boo'ed up." And at that point...they missed the point.
One inherent benefit of being single is the freedom to nurture relationships of all kinds. All relationships are fertile ground, provided they don't divert your unyielding attention from your personal goals. As most can attest to, when you establish a romantic bond with someone, many of the external relations that you established prior to the boyfriend/girlfriend link go into a holding pattern. You aren't around as much. People start to hear your voicemail more than they hear you. And every time it's time for a group outing, you promise to "meet them out there." Keep it 100 my friend. You knew you were never going in the first place. But that's OK. It's instinctive to reassign your attention when you are romantically involved with someone. However, when you are single, you can freely invest in relationships, without the congenital rope of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship pulling you back in. Of course, the lines of demarcation must be clearly drawn and established, but if you manage to keep those lines in tact, you'll never have to worry about "being in a relationship" again. Here are some of the blocks...start building.
Association
Simply put, you see these are the folks that get a light pound, a church hug, and maybe a little small talk. Sure, they invite you to come kick it, but both parties are aware that the overture is an empty formality, never to be fulfilled. Occasionally, if someone strikes you as a reputable individual you extend that relationship to the next level.
Fellowship
This stage is determined by a simple boundary…commonality. A fellowship partner is someone who you are willing to spend time with based on a shared basis of thinking. This is usually where the wheels come screeching off most relationship wagons. We often fail to gauge whether someone shares our values and beliefs. Instead we decide they are a cool associate, so he why not fellowship with them. Wrong answer. When I was younger, my Mom always told me “Don’t Talk to Strangers.” It made sense then, and it still makes sense now. If I don’t know you, and I can’t immediately recognize that you’re someone I’d like to know, then your sir or madam are a stranger, therefore I’m probably not going to fellowship with you (unless of course God calls me to do otherwise). Why would I kick it with someone who deals coke? When the cops come they aren’t going to stop and ask “Whose dope is this?” Can I really invite an atheist over for dinner? I could, but then saying grace would be kind of awkward. Don’t confuse this with elitism or judgment. What people do with their lives is between them and their God. But he blessed me with free will, and I will use it to my advantage(I’m sorry. I had to do it. Hit the rim shot and move on).
Bad company corrupts good character…so keep an eye on your company.
Friendship
This is when the crowd thins out. Friendship is a sacred bond that requires true familial kinship and love. Look at the story of David and Jonathan. The Bible says that “Jonathan Loved David. In fact, he loved David so much that he was willing to betray his own Father to save David’s life. That’s deeper than “lets go play ball together,” and heavier than trips to the nail salon. That was true Agape love emanating from one person to another. It’s powerful stuff. The caveat to this stage is that you can only establish a friendship with time and effort. For the most part, people tow the line between friendship and fellowship simply for convenience sake. If I say “Oh who’s that you were with?” you’ll invariably say “Oh that’s my friend such and such.” It’s a nice way to package the relationship without explaining that you kick it with them, but it’s not that deep. The real testament of a friendship comes with adversity and I ask “Yo, why didn’t you call such and such?” and your reply is a blank stare than need not be accompanied by words. It’s cool. I get it. It’s just "such and such."
Unfortunately, when coupled with the male-female dynamic, friendship is a bewildering concept. You see we have hormones, and sometimes those hormones make us do imprudent things. We’ve all been there. I know you probably did that. She is bad…all types of it. And he looks good, and talks it even better. So now you have to be coy. You have to package this in a way that doesn’t look suspicious or put your emotions at risk. So you both say “Let’s be friends.” Friends as in-we-sleeping-together. Friends as in we “dating-but-don’t-know-what-to-call-it-and-I-like-other-people-too-so-this-sounds-safe.” Sorry guys. I’m not talking about that type of friend. I know. It’s easy. It’s convenient. It keeps people out of your business, and most importantly if gives you a false sense of reality. It is perfectly fine to be attracted to someone. It’s a natural hormonal reaction, and if you don’t feel it toward anyone you might want to go see a doctor. The key to maintaining a friendship is to coral those hormones and do things the right way. While attraction is normal, it is fleeting and deceptive. Most of the time you are initially attracted to WHAT that person is and not WHO they are (shout out to Jas http://nallthatjas.blogspot.com/2009/08/me-or-thought-of-me.html ). People operate like dice. There are several sides to them, but they change once you shake them up. A common sentiment in failed relationships is that “I thought I knew him/her. I never knew she could do that.” You probably didn’t because you didn’t take the time out to be genuine friends first. We know who our true friends are because we know exactly who they are…flaws and all, yet we still choose to hang around because of the kinship of character.
If you are lost in the turbid fog of attraction, you inevitably rationalize, ignore, and excuse anything that tells you that this thing should probably never extend beyond friendship. Does she keep acting dejected and insecure? Be a friend and encourage…but don’t date her. Did you catch him drunkenly groping a girl outside a club…Say shame on him, but he’s probably not the guy you want to date. I know you don’t want to, but it’s essential to take stock of everything and make a decision accordingly. Shake the dice. Toss ‘em against the wall. Sure, you'll crap out sometimes, but if you can enjoy the instances when you hit a 7, them you've found a good friend.
Courtship
This as the foggiest of all stages, because technically this is the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. But usually we take it too far and we’re back to practicing bad relationship habits. At this point you’ve acknowledged that you are attracted to each other and said “Hey, let’s enter into a monogamous romantic relationship.” Does that mean you abandon your singleness? Absolutely not. He can still go out with whoever he wants, whenever he wants. She doesn’t have to check in when she’s out. He doesn’t have to put in on your bills. And if she moves away, stay put unless you have a better opportunity where she is. You’re single…but you signed a contract to be monogamous.
Simply put. There is no “Us.” We are two single entities who enjoy each others company. No more, no less. And let’s not forget that you are still obligated to observe the rules of virtue and righteousness. That never changes. A sobering element of this relationship is the acknowledgment of hierarchy. Realistically, this person should come around 5th on your list of important things. You know behind God, yourself, family, career. Tough pill to swallow? That’s probably because you need to go back to friendship or fellowship.
The only way a courtship can work is if it features a key element of agape love: trust. If at anytime distrust makes its way to the relationship, abandon ship and start over. Trust extends beyond detrmining whether or not someone will cheat. Can you turst them to consult God? Can you trust them to care for you as well as they care for themselves, Can you trust them to make good decisions? If answers to these questions, or questions like these are "no" then take two steps back, and stay there. A return to fellowship is a good step in reestablishing the basis of the relationship. But at no point should distrust and love of any kind (Eros, philos, agape) meet. Many relationships fail because someone didn’t trust themselves, or didn’t trust the person they we attached to. At this stage of the relationship, the two involved parties should be helping each others growth through encouragement.
Dating
This is the stage when he listens to Bey and “Puts a ring on it.” Engagement. This is the first time God looks at the relationship and recognizes a covenant. The man(yes the man) has consulted with God, and received permission from her father to take the young ladies hand in marriage. It’s during this stage that you are to inure yourself to be married. It’s an intense process that should include pastoral counseling. Nobody wins a marathon without training first. You are preparing to kill your singleness in one swooping bound, so it’s important that you cross the emotional T’s and the spiritual I’s. I hope you enjoyed the single manifestation of yourself…cus after dating is over its dead. This stage sets the infrastructure for the marriage. Hopefully, all key concerns and worries are addressed and rectified. This is the perfect time to solidify financial, emotional, or spiritual woes that could unintentionally make your marriage more difficult to execute. Remember, you’ve been operating as single person for your entire life. You don’t shed that mind state overnight. Pause. You thought you were supposed to move in together right. Maybe test the goods. Once again Kimosabee…slow down. You’re still single remember. That doesn’t change until the old preacher looks over his glasses and ask that you say “I do” at the wedding ceremony. Patience grasshopper. Patience.
Marriage
The entropy of self and the birth of on(I talked about this before, no need to revisit it). This too started with a piece of notebook paper similar to the one you got in 5th grade. Only this time it was for real. “Will you marry me? Check yes, no or maybe” You take out your Premium Pilot Ink Pen and check maybe…nah just kidding. You check yes. I mean you came this far. I’m sure you’re ready. Enjoy your forever…you've earned it.
Pardon my disposition, but I'm a little confused. I don't know how it happened, but somewhere along the line the word "relationship" became marred in a cacophony of misinterpretations and misnomers. I'd like to blame facebook profiling, but it started way before then. The truth is, you have a "relationship" with every single person you come in contact with. Of course some will be valued more than others, but a relationship is simply a manifestation of your association with another human being. So, when people launch into their personal "I'm ready for a relationship" discourse, they really mean "I'm bored, lonely and it's raining outside. The cold side of my pillow isn't cutting it anymore. I'm ready to be boo'ed up." And at that point...they missed the point.
One inherent benefit of being single is the freedom to nurture relationships of all kinds. All relationships are fertile ground, provided they don't divert your unyielding attention from your personal goals. As most can attest to, when you establish a romantic bond with someone, many of the external relations that you established prior to the boyfriend/girlfriend link go into a holding pattern. You aren't around as much. People start to hear your voicemail more than they hear you. And every time it's time for a group outing, you promise to "meet them out there." Keep it 100 my friend. You knew you were never going in the first place. But that's OK. It's instinctive to reassign your attention when you are romantically involved with someone. However, when you are single, you can freely invest in relationships, without the congenital rope of a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship pulling you back in. Of course, the lines of demarcation must be clearly drawn and established, but if you manage to keep those lines in tact, you'll never have to worry about "being in a relationship" again. Here are some of the blocks...start building.
Association
Simply put, you see these are the folks that get a light pound, a church hug, and maybe a little small talk. Sure, they invite you to come kick it, but both parties are aware that the overture is an empty formality, never to be fulfilled. Occasionally, if someone strikes you as a reputable individual you extend that relationship to the next level.
Fellowship
This stage is determined by a simple boundary…commonality. A fellowship partner is someone who you are willing to spend time with based on a shared basis of thinking. This is usually where the wheels come screeching off most relationship wagons. We often fail to gauge whether someone shares our values and beliefs. Instead we decide they are a cool associate, so he why not fellowship with them. Wrong answer. When I was younger, my Mom always told me “Don’t Talk to Strangers.” It made sense then, and it still makes sense now. If I don’t know you, and I can’t immediately recognize that you’re someone I’d like to know, then your sir or madam are a stranger, therefore I’m probably not going to fellowship with you (unless of course God calls me to do otherwise). Why would I kick it with someone who deals coke? When the cops come they aren’t going to stop and ask “Whose dope is this?” Can I really invite an atheist over for dinner? I could, but then saying grace would be kind of awkward. Don’t confuse this with elitism or judgment. What people do with their lives is between them and their God. But he blessed me with free will, and I will use it to my advantage(I’m sorry. I had to do it. Hit the rim shot and move on).
Bad company corrupts good character…so keep an eye on your company.
Friendship
This is when the crowd thins out. Friendship is a sacred bond that requires true familial kinship and love. Look at the story of David and Jonathan. The Bible says that “Jonathan Loved David. In fact, he loved David so much that he was willing to betray his own Father to save David’s life. That’s deeper than “lets go play ball together,” and heavier than trips to the nail salon. That was true Agape love emanating from one person to another. It’s powerful stuff. The caveat to this stage is that you can only establish a friendship with time and effort. For the most part, people tow the line between friendship and fellowship simply for convenience sake. If I say “Oh who’s that you were with?” you’ll invariably say “Oh that’s my friend such and such.” It’s a nice way to package the relationship without explaining that you kick it with them, but it’s not that deep. The real testament of a friendship comes with adversity and I ask “Yo, why didn’t you call such and such?” and your reply is a blank stare than need not be accompanied by words. It’s cool. I get it. It’s just "such and such."
Unfortunately, when coupled with the male-female dynamic, friendship is a bewildering concept. You see we have hormones, and sometimes those hormones make us do imprudent things. We’ve all been there. I know you probably did that. She is bad…all types of it. And he looks good, and talks it even better. So now you have to be coy. You have to package this in a way that doesn’t look suspicious or put your emotions at risk. So you both say “Let’s be friends.” Friends as in-we-sleeping-together. Friends as in we “dating-but-don’t-know-what-to-call-it-and-I-like-other-people-too-so-this-sounds-safe.” Sorry guys. I’m not talking about that type of friend. I know. It’s easy. It’s convenient. It keeps people out of your business, and most importantly if gives you a false sense of reality. It is perfectly fine to be attracted to someone. It’s a natural hormonal reaction, and if you don’t feel it toward anyone you might want to go see a doctor. The key to maintaining a friendship is to coral those hormones and do things the right way. While attraction is normal, it is fleeting and deceptive. Most of the time you are initially attracted to WHAT that person is and not WHO they are (shout out to Jas http://nallthatjas.blogspot.com/2009/08/me-or-thought-of-me.html ). People operate like dice. There are several sides to them, but they change once you shake them up. A common sentiment in failed relationships is that “I thought I knew him/her. I never knew she could do that.” You probably didn’t because you didn’t take the time out to be genuine friends first. We know who our true friends are because we know exactly who they are…flaws and all, yet we still choose to hang around because of the kinship of character.
If you are lost in the turbid fog of attraction, you inevitably rationalize, ignore, and excuse anything that tells you that this thing should probably never extend beyond friendship. Does she keep acting dejected and insecure? Be a friend and encourage…but don’t date her. Did you catch him drunkenly groping a girl outside a club…Say shame on him, but he’s probably not the guy you want to date. I know you don’t want to, but it’s essential to take stock of everything and make a decision accordingly. Shake the dice. Toss ‘em against the wall. Sure, you'll crap out sometimes, but if you can enjoy the instances when you hit a 7, them you've found a good friend.
Courtship
This as the foggiest of all stages, because technically this is the boyfriend/girlfriend stage. But usually we take it too far and we’re back to practicing bad relationship habits. At this point you’ve acknowledged that you are attracted to each other and said “Hey, let’s enter into a monogamous romantic relationship.” Does that mean you abandon your singleness? Absolutely not. He can still go out with whoever he wants, whenever he wants. She doesn’t have to check in when she’s out. He doesn’t have to put in on your bills. And if she moves away, stay put unless you have a better opportunity where she is. You’re single…but you signed a contract to be monogamous.
Simply put. There is no “Us.” We are two single entities who enjoy each others company. No more, no less. And let’s not forget that you are still obligated to observe the rules of virtue and righteousness. That never changes. A sobering element of this relationship is the acknowledgment of hierarchy. Realistically, this person should come around 5th on your list of important things. You know behind God, yourself, family, career. Tough pill to swallow? That’s probably because you need to go back to friendship or fellowship.
The only way a courtship can work is if it features a key element of agape love: trust. If at anytime distrust makes its way to the relationship, abandon ship and start over. Trust extends beyond detrmining whether or not someone will cheat. Can you turst them to consult God? Can you trust them to care for you as well as they care for themselves, Can you trust them to make good decisions? If answers to these questions, or questions like these are "no" then take two steps back, and stay there. A return to fellowship is a good step in reestablishing the basis of the relationship. But at no point should distrust and love of any kind (Eros, philos, agape) meet. Many relationships fail because someone didn’t trust themselves, or didn’t trust the person they we attached to. At this stage of the relationship, the two involved parties should be helping each others growth through encouragement.
Dating
This is the stage when he listens to Bey and “Puts a ring on it.” Engagement. This is the first time God looks at the relationship and recognizes a covenant. The man(yes the man) has consulted with God, and received permission from her father to take the young ladies hand in marriage. It’s during this stage that you are to inure yourself to be married. It’s an intense process that should include pastoral counseling. Nobody wins a marathon without training first. You are preparing to kill your singleness in one swooping bound, so it’s important that you cross the emotional T’s and the spiritual I’s. I hope you enjoyed the single manifestation of yourself…cus after dating is over its dead. This stage sets the infrastructure for the marriage. Hopefully, all key concerns and worries are addressed and rectified. This is the perfect time to solidify financial, emotional, or spiritual woes that could unintentionally make your marriage more difficult to execute. Remember, you’ve been operating as single person for your entire life. You don’t shed that mind state overnight. Pause. You thought you were supposed to move in together right. Maybe test the goods. Once again Kimosabee…slow down. You’re still single remember. That doesn’t change until the old preacher looks over his glasses and ask that you say “I do” at the wedding ceremony. Patience grasshopper. Patience.
Marriage
The entropy of self and the birth of on(I talked about this before, no need to revisit it). This too started with a piece of notebook paper similar to the one you got in 5th grade. Only this time it was for real. “Will you marry me? Check yes, no or maybe” You take out your Premium Pilot Ink Pen and check maybe…nah just kidding. You check yes. I mean you came this far. I’m sure you’re ready. Enjoy your forever…you've earned it.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
life:Check one, yes, no or maybe Pt. 4
The Man in the Mirror
I want us all to do something that we rarely do...take a second and look in a mirror. And no, not a real mirror, a fictitious one, that allows you to see your physical and spiritual self. Go ahead, take stock of yourself, flaws and all. Do you like what you see? You should, because God said you are wonderfully and marvelously made. And what's even better is that you are a work in progress...so that glorious image can only be enhanced. And unless you are married, guess what...that image staring back at you is all you have to worry about. Tell me that isn't liberating. There’s inherent beauty in being single, but somehow people miss that. It feels good to be unhinged. If you want to have coffee with someone you can do it. The only person with license to rummage through your phone is you. No angry calls about a social networking message. Your friends go unquestioned. The only person counting your money is….you guessed it…YOU. All that changes the minute you devote your mind, body and spirit to someone else.
"But it feels good to be in a relationship too," you say. I couldn't agree more. They wouldn't have been created if it wasn't a celebrated occasion. But it's all about timing, and you have to trust God that your time will come. One major problem with many people in a romantic relationships is that they abandon their single identity. As we established earlier “You are single until you are married.” Sure, they call each other wifey and hubby, but until they go before God and establish a formal covenant, neither party is obligated to one another.
"No obligation? Ooooh you mean an open relationship right(wink, wink)." No. I don't mean that at all. Let me explain.
There is a time when two whole people decide to come together and engage in a monogamous romantic relationship(I’ll explain how that happens in the next post). At which point they have entered into a natural contract that each party is responsible to honor. But, God doesn’t recognize that as anything more than a contract between two people. He has not sanctified a bond that calls the two people to be responsible for each other. God still views them as single individuals. So while the two are technically dating, they are still to exist as singles: devoted to personal development and strengthening a relationship with God. The moment that romantic inclination interferes with that process it’s time to divest or make a formal commitment before God.
Example: A man gets a job offer in a Europe, but he has a girlfriend with a high paying job in the US. They can try to maintain the relationship, but the space and separation may prove to be too taxing to undertake. In that instance, the guy has work when she sleeps and vice-versa. The communication gap will widen and eventually frustration will set in. Frustration robs you of happiness. That’s not good for anybody. They have a choice. They can get married and begin life together as one, or they can divest and enjoy successful careers as single people, while maintaining a familial bond as friends. It’s not beneficial to struggle and fight through a situation that will detract from your personal development. There's a trap door that everyone opens that calls for people to "fight for what they love." But, in actuality love is something you work for, not fight for.
I want us all to do something that we rarely do...take a second and look in a mirror. And no, not a real mirror, a fictitious one, that allows you to see your physical and spiritual self. Go ahead, take stock of yourself, flaws and all. Do you like what you see? You should, because God said you are wonderfully and marvelously made. And what's even better is that you are a work in progress...so that glorious image can only be enhanced. And unless you are married, guess what...that image staring back at you is all you have to worry about. Tell me that isn't liberating. There’s inherent beauty in being single, but somehow people miss that. It feels good to be unhinged. If you want to have coffee with someone you can do it. The only person with license to rummage through your phone is you. No angry calls about a social networking message. Your friends go unquestioned. The only person counting your money is….you guessed it…YOU. All that changes the minute you devote your mind, body and spirit to someone else.
"But it feels good to be in a relationship too," you say. I couldn't agree more. They wouldn't have been created if it wasn't a celebrated occasion. But it's all about timing, and you have to trust God that your time will come. One major problem with many people in a romantic relationships is that they abandon their single identity. As we established earlier “You are single until you are married.” Sure, they call each other wifey and hubby, but until they go before God and establish a formal covenant, neither party is obligated to one another.
"No obligation? Ooooh you mean an open relationship right(wink, wink)." No. I don't mean that at all. Let me explain.
There is a time when two whole people decide to come together and engage in a monogamous romantic relationship(I’ll explain how that happens in the next post). At which point they have entered into a natural contract that each party is responsible to honor. But, God doesn’t recognize that as anything more than a contract between two people. He has not sanctified a bond that calls the two people to be responsible for each other. God still views them as single individuals. So while the two are technically dating, they are still to exist as singles: devoted to personal development and strengthening a relationship with God. The moment that romantic inclination interferes with that process it’s time to divest or make a formal commitment before God.
Example: A man gets a job offer in a Europe, but he has a girlfriend with a high paying job in the US. They can try to maintain the relationship, but the space and separation may prove to be too taxing to undertake. In that instance, the guy has work when she sleeps and vice-versa. The communication gap will widen and eventually frustration will set in. Frustration robs you of happiness. That’s not good for anybody. They have a choice. They can get married and begin life together as one, or they can divest and enjoy successful careers as single people, while maintaining a familial bond as friends. It’s not beneficial to struggle and fight through a situation that will detract from your personal development. There's a trap door that everyone opens that calls for people to "fight for what they love." But, in actuality love is something you work for, not fight for.
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